“Breaking Bad Habits”

Nosedive groaned as he slowly was drawn into consciousness again. A cold wind blew his bangs upon his forehead as he laid upon a sleeping bag. Still, something rather sharp jabbed into his hip, a rock underneath. Even with the mounds of snow on the mountain, the rock had somehow managed to find him. Without even looking, he attempted to shift, only to realize he was being held tightly. His eyes fluttered open, and he noticed with alarm the dark brown-feathered arms entrapping and forcing him against some soft, warm being behind him. He looked up and saw Harper. The older mallard was asleep, yet he still had a firm grip on Nosedive, his beak only millimeters over the boy’s head.

The newly turned ten-year-old looked down at the hands again holding him with downcast eyes as he remembered the night prior. His craving for cocaine had become so violent that he wasn’t shaking from the effects of withdrawal but for the physical need to have the indescribable feeling rushing through his body again. He had been unable to sleep, though he was so tired. He jumped at every shadow and even when the wind blew. When Harper remained firm and said they weren’t leaving—Nosedive found himself grimacing still. He had gone ballistic, eventually falling to his knees in the snow and crying unabashedly, his hands fisted in his long, bleached hair.

With everything between them, especially Nosedive’s blatant resistance against Harper and living in his house, the boy was surprised when Harper fell to his side and engulfed him in an all-encompassing hug. It was even more shocked that he didn’t resist and simply leaned his head against Harper’s chest, sobbing until fatigue overtook him.

Unconsciously, he leaned his head back against Harper’s chest and closed his eyes. The last time someone had actually held him was…He tried to remember, but he guessed Lucretia had done once or twice when he had a night-terror. He didn’t quite remember, but he knew she had been worried when he was in the hospital.

His thoughts waned on that particular thought, and he simply submitted to Harper’s hold. He really didn’t want to wake up his guardian. He looked so peaceful, and if admitting it only to himself, he didn’t want to move. He kinda liked where he was. Sure, maybe Harper just held him to stop his crying or for some empathic code he had, but Nosedive didn’t care. The feeling of Harper’s warmth against his back, sheltering him from the cold, coupled with the older man’s hug was enough affection to keep Nosedive where he was, despite the rock stabbing him.

He snuggled upward, so his head was actually touching Harper’s beak. He still was exhausted, and now that his jitteriness was gone, he knew he would be asleep in a matter of moments.

Slipping into unconsciousness, he was almost jerked fully awake as his mind wrapped around one startling thought. What if Harper didn’t have some empathic code? What happened if Harper didn’t hate him and really just brought him up here to wane him off the drugs? After all, why would his guardian go through all this trouble and abuse to get him clean if he was just going to send the boy back to the orphanage? What if…What if Harper liked him, and the older man kept his promise?

His guardian’s earlier words flittered through his head. You are not going to an orphanage, so you might as well accept the fact that this is your home now.

At one time, it was a threat. Now, it was a relief.

The arms about him squeezed his little body warmly, and before Nosedive could look up, a beak nuzzled the top of his head.

“I’m still here,” Harper said softly, and he once more affirmed his statement by holding the boy close. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

Nosedive found himself saying even before he could stop, “I know…” and he once more fell asleep against his guardian, never regretting the words he uttered.

THE END